Photo credit: Charlotte Burnap

Chappell Roan sings “My Kink is Karma” during her Oct. 10 pop-up show, “Visions of Damsels & Other Dangerous Things.” The short tour visited three cities: New York City, Kansas City and Los Angeles. The Los Angeles performance, located at Brookside at the Rose Bowl, drew in the largest crowd Roan has ever performed for at a headlining show, with around 40,000 fans in attendance.

As a 10-year-old girl in Willard, Missouri, Kayleigh Rose Amstutz learned to play the piano. At 13 years old, she won her school talent show. When she was 15 years old, she began uploading song covers onto YouTube. By 17, Amstutz donned the stage name and persona that would one day make her famous: Chappell Roan.

However, it was not until Roan was 26 years old that she skyrocketed to success. Today, her singles “Casual” and “Pink Pony Club” play on hundreds of radio stations, and her album, “The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess,” is doused in critical acclaim. After almost a decade of YouTube videos, singles and performances, Roan has become a star.

As Roan rose to fame, I quickly fell in love with her music. Her immersive storytelling, incredible vocals and unique sound effortlessly drew me in. So, after failing to secure tickets to her 2023 performance at The Wiltern, I knew I could not miss my chance again when I learned Roan was coming back to Los Angeles. Now, two years later, I was in the car, dressed in a mermaid-themed outfit, blasting “Femininominon” while driving to her Pasadena pop-up show, “Visions of Damsels & Other Dangerous Things.”

Two days before her first Pasadena performance Wednesday, Oct. 8, Roan’s team announced that A Club Called Rhonda, a dance party collective, and drag queen Trixie Mattel would be opening the show with their own DJ sets. As a massive fan of Mattel, to say that I was thrilled is an understatement. 

While I did not arrive until after A Club Called Rhonda’s set, I was ready to dance and cheer with Mattel. She was joined by fellow drag queens Calypso Jetè Balmain and Kyra Jeté, as well as two male backup dancers wearing sparkling minishorts and ginormous Trixie bobbleheads. As the final song of Mattel’s set, Cindy Fee’s “Thank You For Being a Friend” played, Mattel took a selfie with the crowd, blew a kiss and skipped offstage. 

Then, out came Roan’s opener, Hemlocke Springs, who is the definition of whimsy. Her music was laced with playful synths and carefree vocal lilts, juxtaposed by heavy-metal screams. I was not very familiar with Springs’ music aside from “sever the blight” and her viral hit, “girlfriend,” but it’s safe to say she was a perfect opener. Roan and Springs have a similar wonder and campiness, and it is impossible not to cheer and dance along.

After about an hour of waiting, I heard the words, “You know what they say, never waste a Friday night on a first date,” and instantly started screaming my head off. Roan opened the show with “Super Graphic Ultra Modern Girl,” wielding a microphone in one hand and a glittering trident in the other. From the moment she stepped on stage, it was clear that Roan was exactly where she was destined to be. She danced and belted her heart out to each lyric and every audience member did the same.

When I first listened to “The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess,” the song “Guilty Pleasure” was not much of a standout, but hearing it live immediately changed my perspective. The song starts slow and cautious, detailing a closeted girl realizing she has a crush on a friend. While Roan begins scared, her fear soon transforms into admission and acknowledgement of her feelings. “Sometimes, I scare myself,” Roan quietly sings to the audience, “But I can’t help what I can’t help.” As the song explodes into the chorus, Roan’s character embraces her feelings in spite of internalized homophobia.

“Casual” and “The Subway” were standout performances. Roan excels at upbeat pop, but the lyricism featured in her ballads is some of her best work. “Casual” is an angsty hit dedicated to a situationship that, despite being centered around “casual” hook-ups, means far more to Roan, leaving her humiliated and distraught. “The Subway” is a classic breakup song, as Roan grapples with constant reminders of a former lover who ultimately “got away.” As she belted each line, her voice was dripping with emotion and every attendee screamed along with palpable heartbreak. 

The next song was “HOT TO GO!,” and, as a proud member of the song’s top 0.01% of Spotify listeners, it is safe to say I lost my mind. The entire crowd danced along in perfect unison to what some have called the “Gen Z YMCA.” I was surrounded by three 8-year-old girls with faces covered in glitter, countless people in their 20s jumping up and down and a group of 60-year-old women decked out in sequins.

After dancing and singing to vibrant visuals, Roan sat down on stage. Under the slow melody of a piano, she gave a heartfelt speech. She gushed about her love for Los Angeles, calling it “the best city in the world.” When Roan first moved to California, she lived in Altadena, an area devastated by the Eaton Fire. She shared the love she had for the community that came together after the fires and said that after the city has “taken care” of her, it is her duty to do the same for those impacted. She then declared “F— ICE, forever,” and the crowd erupted in a chant repeating Roan’s words.

“I love you,” Roan told the audience. “I love the queer community. Thank you for being here.” 

Roan ended the night with “Pink Pony Club.” I took a break from screaming during the chorus to wipe away my tears and take in the moment, and as I did, I was overwhelmed with hope. From increasing amounts of anti-LGBTQ+ legislation to rising violence and hate crimes, it more often than not feels like America is growing more hostile. Yet with approximately 40,000 people standing around me, all shouting a song dedicated to queer joy, I felt a glimmer of hope, and every single lyric seemed all the more powerful. 

Roan is more than a drag queen or a popstar. She is a reminder that queer people belong everywhere. As long as there are people like her being loudly, proudly and happily queer, it won’t be so easy for the Trump administration — or anyone, for that matter — to erase the LGBTQ+ community.