VOICES

Dear Gus: Friends Drifting

By Gus the Dog

May 16, 2014

Gus at his usual post, in the hallway in front of Ms. Lancaster’s office. Photographer: Rosemary Pastron ’16

Dear Gus,

I have a friend who I have known since 4th grade here at Archer. We have been best friends but now she hangs out with other girls too. The other girls don’t like me to be in their group, and now my friend is starting to avoid me. I feel sad when I go home, I don’t know what to do. It makes me really mad that they ignore me when she is around. What do I do?

Thanks,
7^th Grader

Dear 7^th Grader,

Thanks for writing in. Dealing with losing friends is one of the toughest (and most common) situations to be in. I myself used to be friends with a Chihuahua named Paul, but unfortunately, we drifted apart.

It looks like your friend that is hanging out with this other group is making you feel very sad. It can be confusing, aggravating, or even scary when the people who have always been there in your life are suddenly avoiding you.

I know when I’m sad, it always helps me to talk (or at least bark) about it. If opening up to a different friend or even a trusted adult is something you’d consider, perhaps that is something that would help. If you are not comfortable doing that, you could also try writing it all out in a journal. This can be a great way to get all of your feelings out and be able to gain a new perspective on them.

How do you think your friend would react if you talked to her about it? If you think she would respond well, maybe opening up to her about how her actions have been making you feel would help her to realize that she needs to commit more time to your friendship. You know your relationship with this girl WAY better than I do, so you probably have a better idea of if she would be willing to listen to you.

At the end of the day, you deserve to have people in your life that do not avoid you, especially not in order to hang out with another group of girls who are mean to you. If she doesn’t understand, maybe (like my dear Chihuahua Paul) this friend is no longer the type of person you want in your life.

That is a difficult decision to make, and one that is ultimately up to you, 7th Grader. I hope this helped you gain perspective on your situation, and thanks for coming to me with what’s been going on.

Sincerely,
Gus

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