I’m lucky to say I will never have to worry about the possibility of not having a friend. Since birth, I’ve always had the promise of a built-in best friend: my identical twin sister, Miya.
Seventeen years of living with a person who looks exactly like you, talks the same way, is the same age as you and shares your interests is completely unusual, but in the best possible way. For all of those wondering: yes, having an identical twin is exactly what you’d think it would be like. It’s fun, exciting and unique.
My days are constantly filled with interesting stories, gossip and reassurance. Miya is more than just a sister. She’s my cheerleader, confidante and everything I’m not. She’s outgoing whereas I’m shy. She has bangs whereas I don’t. But most importantly, without her, there would be no me (literally!).
We have gone through everything together — it’s been a wild ride. Not to be cliche, but we really have stuck together throughout the bad times and the good times. Even when we were younger, we always assured each other we would be there for each other. I was able to change, grow and experience new things with the knowledge that I would always have someone to look to in times of need.
Earlier in our lives, Miya and I had an extremely rare form of epilepsy called Sunflower Syndrome, where the sunlight caused us to have seizures in our brains. Growing up with epilepsy, especially a kind so rare, was incredibly challenging. There was no research on our condition because it was so uncommon, nor any resources.
With little knowledge of what Miya and I were going through, our family struggled. We had to live differently, constantly in the dark and away from friends. However, the one thing that kept me going was the support of my sister. She was the only other person I knew who was going through the same thing; that alone made me feel safe. During that time, Miya and I had a silent understanding that we would always keep each other in good spirits. We would appreciate each other. We would get through it.
And … we did. Our epilepsy is now under control. Without her, I don’t think I would’ve gotten through it as positively as I did. I went to multiple doctors with her. I missed out on events, but so did she. She was the only other person who had to wear sunglasses indoors with me.
Miya was also a core part of my growth and girlhood — there is no saying otherwise. When I needed help deciding between a blue or yellow dress, she always had the right answer. When I decided to cut my hair short, she supported me.
I remember the first day of high school in ninth grade. I was scared. It was my first year of finals, my first time being in a noticeable academic environment and the first time I felt the real pressure of school, socially and academically. However, what I remember even more was looking at my sister and noticing she was experiencing the same thing. We talked about our experiences every day. It was at that moment that I realized I would never be truly alone as long as I had my sister.
People always come up to us and ask, “What is it like being an identical twin?” When we get asked this question, Miya and I just look at each other and smile. No, we don’t have telepathic powers (although sometimes our thoughts are scarily synched). No, it doesn’t feel like a clone is living with you all the time. Yes, it’s incredible.
We both know we are individual human beings and are not always connected. But, in a way, this just elevates our respect for each other. For me specifically, it makes me understand that Miya is her own individual person — but a person who will always believe in me under any circumstance.
We can be goofy together, laughing about all the inconsequential things in the world without being judged. The amount of times we have spoken in funny voices to each other…it’s way too much to even count. We act like this because the foundation of our relationship is based on an overpowering friendship.
I will tell my sister everything, and when I say everything, I mean everything. I trust her with my entire being. I tell her my deepest secrets; we are each other’s therapists.
So, to sum it up, I want to leave a message to all the siblings out there: be grateful that you have someone who will always be there for you. Not everybody has that gift.
I can’t express enough how much being an identical twin means to me, so I’ll just end with this: Our bond is the most valuable thing in my life. Miya — you are the most important person to me. Thank you for being my best friend.
