“In girl world, Halloween is the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it,” Cady Heron said in the movie “Mean Girls” (2004).

I don’t remember exactly when it started happening, but there was a year not too long ago when something in the candy recipe changed. It was the same year when frappuccino costumes turned into sexy princesses, when Little Red Riding hood’s skirt got shorter and scary masks turned into corsets. 

Let’s address the “slutty” elephant in the room. 

Since I was young, Halloween was never something I particularly enjoyed. The night of Oct. 31 was socially stressful, freezing cold and my brother always seemed to get better chocolates than me. What were once simple annoyances morphed into greater anxiety after the age of 13. My friend’s costumes started to look a little different from my emoji onesie. 

Like many girls in early adolescence, I was absolutely mortified by the concept of a “sexual” Halloween costume. Seeing other women in short skirts and bunny ears made me embarrassed and uncomfortable. To me, those types of girls wanted to “show off,” and only wore those clothes for male attention. 

I was determined to never become one of them. 

From a young age, women are taught to resent other women and naturally reject their own sexuality for fear of being perceived as “desperate.” We are meant to roll our eyes at their attempt to be attractive and laugh at the sight of their exposed breasts and thighs. 

Indeed, the people who call women “sluts” the most are other women. 

I’d be lying if I said I had never experienced the impulse myself. Just recently at a Halloween party, I saw a group of girls walking in revealing tops and tight spandex. They all looked incredibly beautiful, and the costumes were amazing, but for a moment, I wanted to hate them.  

Unfortunately, most women don’t express their jealousy with heartfelt compliments. It’s often malicious comments rooted in deep insecurity about their own appearance. “Slut-shaming” is a language that many of us speak. It’s something we must learn to unlearn. It’s unacceptable.  

Just because she is comfortable in her own skin doesn’t entitle you to mock her because you are not comfortable in yours.

Halloween tends to divide women into two boxes, forcing us to identify with a single category. The first box is the “funny girl.” She wears face paint and a silly costume and participates for a laugh. The other category is the “hot girl.” She wears makeup instead of face paint, a mini skirt that barely covers anything, and will leave the party with one more person than she came with. 

Women are either the Madonna or the whore: those are the options. The good or the bad, the pure or the evil, the innocent or the promiscuous. You can only pick one. I’m talking about Halloween, but really, it’s every day of the year. Women wear the male gaze like it’s our own, despising aspects of women that we desire for ourselves. 

The complex is completely ridiculous. It’s a dated, confining and dehumanizing way to perceive women and human beings.

How do we change this?

Whether it’s a sexy bunny outfit or a Shrek costume, the response from other women should be equally as uplifting and empowering. Enough of the side eye and the mean girl behavior — society has moved on.

Halloween shouldn’t be the only night a year when a girl can dress like a “slut.” You can dress as who you like, as you like, how you like. 

You look amazing.