Photo credit: Lila Berg

During lunch, Serena Ho (’29) and Maya Kurc (’29) laugh with each other. Happiness is an emotion that takes many forms, with social interaction having a significant impact on it, according to The Harvard Study of Adult Development. The Oracle surveyed the Archer community, and 45% of respondents said their moods are impacted by social interaction.

In March, The Oracle conducted a survey on happiness and received 86 respondents out of the 498 students attending Archer. Of these, 38.4% said they feel happier than sad, 36% said they feel equally happy and sad and 14% said they feel more sad than happy. 

Merriam-Webster defines happiness as “a state of well-being and contentment: joy,” but many individuals disagree with that definition, including Medium, Harvard Business Review and therapist Dara Yungman. Yungman, who has been licensed for 18 years and works with people of all ages, said happiness is the wrong word for the feeling; instead, she argued the word we are “tiptoeing around” has a long-lasting connotation, and “happiness” is too rapid. However, she said, there isn’t a single definition of happiness, and no one’s opinion is either right or wrong; there are an infinite number of definitions.

“Happiness tends to be more fleeting — it might be a certain feeling or an excitement,” Yungman said. “The sense of contentment and well-being is more mindful, thought-out, intentional.”

Acharya Dayanananda Das is a monk for his guru, Sai Maa. Das has closely studied the philosophy, science and mastery of people’s inner states. Das earned the title of “acharya,” which means great teacher in Sanskrit. His perspective aligned with Yungman’s, as he feels that the words happiness and joy both have different meanings. He argued that happiness is an exterior sensation. 

“Happiness — we define it as something that happened to us because of something: ‘I’m happy that I got the new iPhone, but I’m sad when it broke’ … That is happiness,” Das said, “but happiness is something that has an opposite to it. Because it comes from something that happened. Joy, we define it as something that’s bubbling from inside of us, not because of anything outside.”

According to ScienceDirect, an event or a thought usually triggers emotions, which are then processed by the thalamus, located in the center of the brain. Then the thalamus relays the sensory input to both the frontal cortex and the amygdala, where the amygdala uses the context of the situation and past experiences to assess the reaction needed. Associate Professor of Psychology and Developmental Psychology Area Chair at UCLA Dr. Jennifer Silvers primarily researches how social ties with parents and friends affect emotional behavior. She explained that emotions occur across all areas of the body.

“An emotion is an experience that is a coordinated response in our bodies, our brains, and our behaviors,” Silvers said. “There’s not just one part of the brain where emotions come from. It’s something that’s coordinated across networks, typically … It’s usually coordinated through a combination of subcortical and cortical regions acting together.” 

Can anybody be happy?

A 2023 survey of 1,155 respondents conducted by Tracking Happiness found that, on average, 36% of respondents found happiness to be circumstantial, meaning that the amount of happiness one could experience in life is based on either one’s race, socioeconomic status or childhood experiences. Silvers said that childhood experiences shape adulthood; about half of the people who have experienced early-life adversities deal with mental illness and make up about one-third of instances of mental illnesses in adults.

“Folks in my lab who’ve been exposed to early life-adversity, we tend to … see people being more inclined to detect threats in the environment,” Silvers said, “and then to interpret things that are ambiguous as being threatening.”

In this audio clip, Silvers talks about how brain development and emotional development are intertwined, and how childhood circumstances lead to how someone goes through their adult life.

Although childhood experiences with friends, family and mentors shape social behaviors, Silvers said they don’t necessarily predict happiness in life — it is the coping mechanisms and habits that are developed in response

“Our childhood experiences might be one of many important factors that create a set point for how we contend with stress, how optimistic we are, how readily we form social relationships,” Silvers said, “but it’s certainly not the only thing, and we all play a large hand in writing our own stories and have the opportunity to continue developing and shaping our lives.”

A significant part of life is based on luck, as humans have no control over where they were born, their home situation or the resources they had in childhood. Traumas tend to stick with individuals until they find ways to cope, according to the Anxiety & Depression Association of America. Yungman said it isn’t as easy for people who have experienced early-life adversities to find happiness, but with work and investment in oneself, it is possible.

According to Das, one of the tools to experience more happiness is to work on one’s mindset and realize that situations don’t prevent happiness; only the self stands in the way of feeling joy. He argued that although adversities traumatize us, our mindset determines how we choose to be happy, and we must remain positive.

“You’ll be amazed to see kids in India running in the slums; maybe they have one or two pieces of clothes all their lives, barely shower, don’t have good food,” Das said. “They are more joyous than most of the kids in school in the USA. Why are they more joyous? It’s the state of their mind.” 

Is there a “Key” to happiness?

An ongoing question in the topic of happiness is whether there is one thing humans can add to their lives to be happy. Is there a happily ever after? The underlying question is whether it is possible to reach total happiness or if there is a peak moment of joy in our lives. Hannah Harrison (‘26) said she does not think there is a peak of happiness because, throughout life, there are always opportunities to find more joy. 

“I was at summer camp, I was eight and thought, ‘this is the happiest I could ever possibly be,’” Harrison said, “and now that I’ve just experienced more things and been exposed to more things and met new people, there are new heights to reach, so I think you can always find an even happier moment in your life.” 

Although there may not be one “happily ever after,” there are aspects that can be added to our lives to gain happiness, and some that can reduce happiness. The Harvard Study of Adult Development, a study that has been ongoing for the last 80 years, follows 268 Harvard graduates from the classes of 1939-1944 and 456 men who grew up in the inner-city neighborhoods of Boston. The study found that participants with long-lasting close relationships tend to live longer and express more joy. One of the main discoveries was that happiness is linked to quality relationships rather than more friendships.

In the spiritual realm, monks say that one must “look inside oneself” to find peace rather than relationships, Das said.

“In the spiritual path and meditation, all these practices are bringing your attention inside of you to discover what is deeper inside,” Das said. “It’s like an onion. You are, we are, like an onion. You have to peel. Go inside and inside and inside and inside, inside, inside, inside, inside — there’s joy.”

When going through a rut, Yungman said it can be hard to see the end of the suffering. Even when doing activities that evoke joy, there can still be sadness. During those moments, the most important thing is working on a positive mindset and making sure that any feeling is fleeting, Yungman said. 

“One of the hardest things about depression and anxiety is that it actually skews our perspective, so it feels like it’s always going to feel that way … so to know, ‘okay, I may feel really crappy at this moment, but just because I feel like I’m always going to feel this way, that doesn’t mean that that’s a fact,’” Yungman said. “Riding this wave and trying to think of a bigger picture rather than just the momentary pain can be a really helpful tool.” 

People, emotions, reactions and life are constantly changing. Being able to see, recognize and adapt to change is one skill that can help, said Yungman. There is new research showing that people who crave happiness often find themselves sadder because when one bad thing happens, they tend to shut down, Silvers said. By recognizing and accepting constant change, it is easier to have a positive mindset. Das said that while everything can change, the core of who someone is always stays the same. 

“Look for a moment. Take one or two days and see how many times your mind has changed, how you feel about yourself has changed, and your emotions changed,” Das said, “meaning it’s not permanent, meaning it’s not the truth of who you are. The truth of who you are does not change. It’s deep inside.”